Is It Low Drive or Just Being 'Not in the Mood'?
Sex drive can vary significantly between people, so one person's “normal” might not be the same as their partner’s. But what can we do when there’s obviously an issue? How do we know if we’re just “not in the mood” or if something else is affecting our sex drive? There’s a difference between having a low sex drive and not being in the mood. Hormones, age and health issues can reduce sex drive, while stress, exhaustion and reduced sexual attraction can affect our ability to get in the mood.
A rare subset of the population self-identifies as asexual and doesn’t feel sexual attraction at all. But if you're not among them, how can you tell if something’s wrong with your sex drive? We went looking for answers.
Low Sex Drive
We all naturally have different levels of sexual desire, and those levels can fluctuate throughout our lives based on a number of factors including current life situation, hormonal influences, and attraction to our partner. But when desire noticeably decreases or becomes nonexistent, low sex drive may be an issue.
There are a number of potential causes of low libido. Excessive alcohol use and some medications, such as antidepressants and birth control, can affect sex drive. Other potential problems include depression, injury and health conditions, such as high blood pressure, cancer, diabetes, heart disease and neurological conditions.
The key here is change. If anyone has had unusual changes to libido, they should probably get checked out by a doctor to rule out these other causes or to rule in the actual cause and begin treatment. But it's a change form the usual normal that makes low sex drive stand out as being a problem that needs medical attention.
Not in the Mood?
Issues beyond hormones and personal norms can sometimes interfere with performance in the bedroom. For example, stress and exhaustion can have profound effects on sex drive. Those who have had trauma related to sex or otherwise may have challenges related to these events. And sometimes, as hard as it may be to admit, people can become less attracted to one another.
Sex drive also may, for some, wane with age. Many men experience at least some decrease in libido into their 70s, while some women may notice reduced sexual desire as early as menopause. Other issues that come with age, like the effects of chronic pain and illness, reduced hormone production, and depression brought on by life changes can also have effects on sexual mood.
Asexuality
Have you always had little to no desire to seek out a sexual partner? You could belong to the estimated 1% of the population who identify as asexual. Many people who identify as asexual choose to embrace it rather than to view it as a medical problem and most have meaningful relationships that may or may not include sexual elements.
Sex drive is only one aspect of who we are, and only we can determine what’s normal for ourselves. Be it low sex drive, not being in the mood or something else altogether, we should all be able to be open with our partners, ourselves and our physicians about any potential issues. If you’re happy with your normal, even if your desire is low by comparison to others, then don’t let others talk you into believing something is “wrong” with you. However, if you’re unhappy with your libido, there may be help so talking to your doctor is always the best place to start.
Copyright 2019, Wellness.com
