Disgusted with the medical system
by D.Bach
I have something that I would like to share with the World of Wellness. . .
This is a true, heartbreaking story about the love of my life and my best friend. It could happen to you or someone you know. Although I've heard about these horror stories I never thought it would/could ever happen to me or anyone I knew but. . .BOOM!
Grab a nutritional drink, a carrot stick, some blueberries, a pomegranate, well, you get the idea. . .Good nutrition today, keeps ALL doctors away. . .
There will be many chapters to this story, make sure to check back for more. . .I write this story anonymously and remain anonymous because the key person in the story is still caught in the web of the business of medicine and crackpot doctors. Until she's home and well our names have been changed to protect the weary and innocent. Updates regarding her condition will be mentioned at the bottom of the page.
Preface - The downward spiral of a wonderful woman. . .
My story begins with a beautiful, vibrant, talented, capable, loving, caring woman who happens to be my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years. We live(d) together, we breath together, we dream together and we work together. We are a team. She's the love of my life. She was a model and acted in television shows.
This beautiful life has been taken away from me, slowly over the past several months. My sweet girl has gone from 138 pounds (5' 7" tall) to 102 pounds. She has gone from a multi tasking, multi functioning, healthy person to a result of medical incompetencies and bureaucracy. Yes, she has fallen between the health care cracks. She's a number on a page. She's a dilapidated, dog eared, file folder of broken dreams and poor records - records written by people that are trained to simply go through the motions and pump pills for profit.
When I was a kid I always thought hospitals were magic places where people went to get well and doctors were magicians who fixed broken arms and dreams.
Man, was I ever mistaken. . .
This story goes down a long, twisted road of General Practitioners, OBGYNs, Surgeons, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Radiologists, Emergency Rooms, Operating Rooms, Intensive Care Units, Hospital Rooms, Mental Health Facilities, Detox Facilities, 911 Call, Paramedics, Police, Ambulances, Nutritionists, Osteopathic Doctors and more. Feel free to ask, comment, discuss, question as much as you want. This story is not a pretty one but it needs to be told and talked about - by everyone.
Stay tuned for more details but the following is the true story as of now.
Please pray and hold a good thought for my beloved girlfriend, that she will get well and live happily ever after. . .with me.
Chapter 1 - My Stomach hurts. . .
It was a night around the middle of November, 2006. We had just finished a great meal at one of our favorite Italian restaurants here in San Diego and about an hour later, my mate (we'll call her Margaret) mentioned to me that she had terrible pains in her stomach area. I remember her showing me the spot that it hurt. She asked what was in that area and I told her that the Gall Bladder was there as well as a portion of the large Intestine, etc. I told her it was probably just indigestion. She said "it hurts really bad and I've never had this pain before." I got her some Antacids and told her let's see what happens in a little while.
She was tired (and a trouper) and went to bed and slept through the night as I recall. The next day we talked about it and I suggested that we see what happens after she has another large meal. Well she did and it did - return. I said that we probably should get it looked at as soon as we can get an appointment with her usual family doctor. She saw him within a couple of days and he recommended seeing a Gastroenterologist. We made an appointment and it was decided that she should have an Endoscopy. A few days later, she did just that and it showed nothing. It was recommended that she see a Physician who specialized in stomach surgeries. He examined her and did a Sigmoidoscopy on the spot.
SURPRISE! It showed nothing. He suggested she should have a Colonoscopy. A few days later (after all of the lovely prep work) she did and it showed nothing. It was then suggested that it could be the Gall Bladder acting up. We went back to the Stomach surgery expert and talked to him about it. He suggested a prescription that might help and - are you ready for this? That she get some more tests. Did I mention how much times it takes away from work to do all of this, me driving her, me waiting in waiting and recovery rooms and her feeling awful. I was there for her and loved her, comforted and assured her in every way I could that she would be better soon.
Anyway, she had to prep once again and this time it was the very futuristic, quiet and roomy Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) machine. Yup, you're right - it showed nothing. Back to the surgeon. Now he suggested yet another test (you have to realize, that there was still many more people in the medical field in different departments that needed to make Mercedes, Porsches, airplane and boat payments). This time we were off to the wonderful World of CAT Scan. Right again, it showed nothing. The next venture found us traveling to the (Anti-Greenpeace) Universe of Nuclear Medicine. It was similar to a CAT scan only this time Margaret got to drink radioactive material (that will forever probably make her glow in the dark) and fully contort herself uncomfortably for a ridiculous amount of time. Again, I was at her side comforting her.
Oh yeah, forgot to tell you - the test showed nothing. Margaret was now 5 pounds lighter as a result from not wanting to eat (because of the pain) and from prepping and participating in all of the tests she went through. The bank account was losing weight also from Co-pays, etc.
Back to the surgeon. He said I don't know what else to do (everyone has made their car, plane and boat payments) and I don't see any conclusive evidence that your Gall Bladder is the culprit. Margaret now had started to have more GI problems including the ever-popular Diarrhea. Great weight loss plan.
Despite all the tests, despite all the medications, despite no absolute indication of a Gall Bladder "Red Flag", it was decided that he would surgically remove it as Margaret's pain was not going to go away. It was agreed that the operation would take place just before Christmas.
Off to yet another trip to the hospital. How callus of us to forget the Anesthesiologist. (As it turned out, he had a Ferrari payment due). . .
So Margaret, can you count to 10 for me? "1, 2, 3, 4, 5. . . .zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Chapter 2 - Yes, I'm sure. . .
I took Margaret to the hospital at 7:00 AM and once we checked in we were eventually taken to the Pre-Operation room for an 8:30 surgery. She looked weak, she looked tired and she looked nervous. She also had lost another 3 pounds at this point. The surgeon and his assistant came in a greeted us pleasantly and reminded Margaret that there was no absolute, positive or revealing facts that would indicate that her Gall Bladder was the culprit causing her acute abdomen pain.
He put his hand on her stomach area and pressed down in some areas and asked if this or that hurt. When he was in the area where the Gall Bladder would be, there was a lot of discomfort. He said, "well, there are times we have to take the patient's advice and you certainly know your body better than diagnostic machines or we do."
"So you do want us to remove your Gall Bladder?" the doctor asked with (I must say) a genuine look and hope that she might say no. . .
She said, "Doctor, Yes, I'm sure, I am in pain every time I eat and sometimes randomly, I am willing to take the chance to get rid of this feeling."
He assured her that there (was a slight chance that) could be something in the bile ducts or a stone lodged in the GB neck, etc. that could have been missed in all of the testing.
So, with a last loving and caring hug and kiss for good luck from me, off she went to have one of her 46 year old Gall Bladder removed (whether it needed it or not) and tossed away. . .
Chapter 3 - What else could it be. . .
Margaret came through the operation fine. I met her in recovery and assured her that everything went well and we will wait to speak with the doctor to see what they found. Within an hour or so she was in a room on one of the floors and I (and the nurse(s) helped her get settled. The doctor came in later in the day with several images to show us. They were photos that were taken inside the body that showed more than enough to put me into vaso-vagal response and yes, I almost passed out. He explained to us that he did not see any obvious damage or non-functioning signs with the Gall Bladder but removed it anyway as requested. He did say that he found a large Cyst however but doubted that it would have caused all of her abdomen pain.
Margaret sobbed and the look on her face said it all - she was back to square one. Again, I comforted her with a broken heart of my own.
She came home two days later and tried to re-establish some sense of a normal routine and an attempt to get on with her life. It still hurt when she ate, particularly heavy, rich or spicy foods but she was a trouper and pressed on. It was a month or so later that she started to have some more pain and the Diarrhea became more frequent. She had now lost nearly 12 pounds in just under two months. She asked her GP what he thought about this ongoing problem which was causing her stress, anxiety and depression and he suggested Cipro, an Antibiotic that has been around for a long time. His thought was that there was an infection and this would clear it up. He also put her on Paxil, an Anti-Depressant. Margaret was also a business partner with me and we were trying to sell our business, I had lost a lot of time working at my new job and the bills were piling up. This didn't help either of us in the stress department.
Around this same time, Margaret went in for her annual check up at the OBGYN and, after hearing all about the symptoms, the OBGYN suggested another type of Antibiotic that could be taken simultaneously with the Cipro. HUH? Are you kidding me? I never heard of such a thing, taking two Antibiotics at once. One other thing, the OBGYN told Margaret that she was in Pre-Menopause - that wonderful period in a Woman's life where men hide all sharp objects from their wives and girlfriends and bring flowers home every day. It also helps to switch their mattresses from pillow top to sponge top to absorb all the moisture from hot flash sweats. The OBGYN also suggested for stress, anxiety and depression, Zanax. We were soon on the road to serious problems that at the time I couldn't have even imagined.
Margaret took the pills as prescribed by the two doctors and after about a week and a half to two weeks her Diarrhea and stomach area pain turned into a chronic and serious situation. The wonderfful side effects of Anti-Depressants is many things, including - Diarrhea. Now the constant pain and discomfort from weeks and months of Gastrointestinal issues was starting to wear on Margaret. She became even more withdrawn, depressed, stressed and anxious although while on the Anti-Depressants she was (slightly) better. To say that continual Diarrhea is enough to make someone depressed and anxious is an understatement but when you couple that to a lack of nutrition from food going right through you and a loss of electrolytes due to dehydration, you have a very serious dilemma. My heart ached for her and the light of my life was now dim and flickering.
The problems were just beginning, she was slowly becoming addicted to the Benzodiazepine drugs she was on. . .
Chapter 4 - Yet another trip(s) to the ER. . .
It was a Thursday evening in the first week of July right after dinner when Margaret had some severe stomach pain. Off to the ER we went and were finally seen (after a long period in the waiting room). The doctor examined her, asked a bunch of questions, asked her what she'd been taking and suggested some medication - it was the old - take 2 pills and call me in the morning.
Here's a shock, the pills did not work.
It was a Saturday in mid July in the early morning hours that Margaret became doubled over in pain. She now had lost nearly 20 pounds which put her at about 118. She started all of this at around 138 pounds. She said that she could not take the pain and I suggested a trip to the ER at the usual hospital to have her checked out. She agreed that it might be best. We arrived at the ER around 8:00 AM and after waiting for around an hour, they took her into one of the examining rooms. There we waited another hour or so to be seen by the ER doctor. He checked her over, she asked if the GI specialist she had seen in the past was available. He was and came in and saw her. She asked if they could do a CAT Scan with contrast and they obliged with the CAT scan but no contrast. It showed nothing. She was still in pain. They recommended that they admit her, that way they could keep an eye on her and also there were Psychiatrists available. "WHAT!!!!! Psychiatrists???? What the Hell does she need a Psychiatrist for?" "She has stomach issues!!!!" "Are you people nuts?"
This is where Margaret's descent into the dark side of the medical profession truly begins - as if it wasn't bad enough already. . .I was beyond furious with physicians at this point.
Chapter 5 - Meet with the Chief Psychiatrist?. . .
On her third day in the hospital, it was suggested to me in a private meeting with the Chief Psychiatrist that Margaret needed mental help. He said she should be admitted to a mental hospital. I wanted to strangle the guy. He doesn't even know her - but I DO! How could he say this about the love of my life. Mental health? Had anyone considered how much Diarrhea effects someone's mental health when you go to the bathroom 10 times a day and are losing weight at an alarming rate? Did anyone ever think of looking at the "small intestine" as the source of her problems. Parasitic activity is rampant in the small intestine after gall Bladder surgery - I even know that from the basic research I have done.
We (Margaret and I) decided that she would go and see a Psychiatrist, on her own 2-3 times a week just to see if there was anything helpful about it. She really wanted to ween off of the drugs she was on also so we visited an Osteopathic doctor who helped to ajust dosages. This is not an exact science and it is truly by seeing what works. The woman was a wonderful, compassionate, caring doctor.
Three days later, at roughly 3:00 AM she had a complete meltdown and I rushed her to the ER at a hospital that also had a mental health facility in San Diego. On the way to the hospital, traveling at over 90 miles per hour (hey, it's the only time there isn't traffic in Southern California) I prayed silently while assuring Margaret that she wasn't going to die although she kept repeating that she was over and over. In the ER, Margaret was literally crawling out of her skin and kept saying she was going to die. Her heat rate was 125 beats a minute and her blood pressure was off the chart. They administered some Adavan and within 15-20 minutes she was back to (absolute) normal mentally - just like nothing ever happened.
For all of you medical scientists and researchers that work for Biovail Pharmaceuticals, Inc. and Baxter Healthcare Corp., the makers of Ativan, I thank you. Although I do not like or take medicine - at all - and have always felt the side effects of medicine are not worth it, your drug helped the love of my life at her darkest hour. It was like magic watching her return to normal in an amazingly short amount of time.
She was admitted into the Mental Health facility and was there for 5 days. Did I happen to mention that her stomach problems were still with her? People were working on the wrong end of her body although she now - thanks to doctors for prescribing the wrong things and the wrong dosages and too much medicine overall - was losing even more weight. The one person who was the bright spot in all of this was the Osteopathic doctor in Del Mar, CA. She continued to call me to check on how she was doing.
Paxil is usually prescribed in a 5mg dose. One doctor screwed up and prescribed 25mg dosages.
She was now on Lexipro also. She was a mess and rapidly becoming a victim of the World of pharmaceuticals and no one seemed to care. 112 pounds and losing more weight.
Chapter 6 - Situation hopeless?. . .
She came home from the Mental Health hospital and lasted about a week. It was then that we ended up admitting her into a detox center. This was our choice, Margaret and I decided it might be the only way to get off the drugs. The problem? We admitted her on a Friday and they do not do any treatments at all over the weekend. We wasted 3 days and she came back home on Monday night. She went back to the Osteopathic doctor for more evaluation and more Benzodiazepine dosage alterations. Again, this woman doctor was there for us and truly did everything she could.
She also saw a nutritionist to see if there was something he could do that would keep food in her body so she would not be nutrient starved and that was more wasted time.
She tried. She really, really tried. I have never seen a stronger human being. By now we had both lost weeks of work, she lost more weight, she was on disability and became very introvertish. She was checking out. She had pretty much given up.
Weeks and months of doctor visits, sleepless nights, 100's of trips to the bathroom, things that did not work, doctors whom she felt could help but they could only see her once because they were leaving on vacation for weeks, too much medication, too many feelings of hope dashed by broken dreams and promises by treatmant plans. She had reached the end of hope. Despair and hopelessness were now her best friends. Even I didn't know how deep her inner feelings of doom were and we were together 24/7.
Chapter 7 - "911 Operator, what's your emergency?". . .
I found Margaret at 9:30 PM, Thursday, August 31, 2007, passed out on her bed. I tried to revive her but couldn't. I immediately called 911. She had overdosed on Ambien and Tylenol. Ambien was something that she took every night to try to sleep. This was the day that she was going to sleep no matter what, perhaps forever.
The paramedics arrived within 8 minutes. Amazing. there was a total of 6 people in her bedroom - 2 from the ambulance and 4 from the firetruck plus a Police Officer who was just outside the room. There was equipment and opened medical packages everywhere that held siringes, IV components, tape, etc. It looked like a MASH unit. They could not revive her either. They took her vitals - heart rate at 48 BPM, through in an IV, placed an oxygen mask on her and transported her to the closest hospital in La Jolla, CA. Thankfully - I was there for her, yet again, hopefully in time. I was in shock, I was numb, I was scared and worried for her.
I stayed behind and was questioned by the Police officer about what I thought happened. I told him point blank that she was a victim of a medical system that was completely incompetent and out of touch. I got to the hospital an hour later and it wasn't until about 1:30 AM that I got to see her. She was still unconscious and it was so sad to see her with a stomach pump tube sticking out of her nose that was black from the charcoal. I held her hand for an hour or so and whispered things in her ear to see if she would come around. I told her over and over again that I loved her and was there for her. The nurse said that I should go home, there was nothing more I could do and she would call me if she woke up.
I came back the next day early and she was in the Intensive Care Unit, still unconscious. I again held her hand, stroked her face and hair and talked to her lovingly. She regained consciousness around 1:00 PM. She was there for 5 days in the Intensive Care Unit where they filtered all the remaining toxins out of her body and got her eating again. It was decided that she should be transported to the Mental Health facility associated with the Hospital.
I went down there with her, as I have done every step of the way for over 4 months. Margaret was now 104 pounds. When we arrived at the Mental Health Unit, it was not a pretty sight. There was some pretty scary people there and Margaret was very frightened and did not want to stay. She had a pretty bad anxiety attack and the nurse said the only way she could administer any drugs to help her was if she signed herself in. In other words - 'A deal With The Devil'. I made the decision that her immediate need for help was more crucial than the thought of just getting out of there. Besides, she couldn't just go home and risk the chance of another overdose or worse. She signed in, they gave her some Adavan and within 20 minutes she was back to being lucid and coherent.
Familyis coming into town tomorrow and they will be calling all the shots and I will be thrown to the curb. The family and I do not get along. They live in other areas of the country.
Chapter 8 - Can anyone read?. . .
With all of her charts and medical records, enough information to fill a van, they still screwed up. By the third second day of being in "Hotel Hell" they had her "Cold Turkey" and detoxing. The problem is that if you have been on Benzodiazepines, you must be - have to be - weened off slowly. They missed the boat. Now she became Psychotic, paranoid and delusional. Her doctor asked me, "so how many weeks has she been like this?" I said "she had never, ever been like this until she came here and you guys messed her up." Now I can't talk to her, she says she's going to jail, she's seeing things that don't exist and now she thinks it best that I don't visit her.
Margaret thinks everyone is in on a conspiracy, they're going to take her away, she trusts no one and has said goodbye to me and that she will never see me again.
The love of my life is now a nightmare and there is no end in sight. How could this happen? How can so many medical experts get it so wrong. The sad thing is that a couple of days before she overdosed, we went to a very intelligent Gastroenterologist that had some new ideas and tests that no one else even thought of. I think we really could have gotten somewhere with this doctor but now we may never know.
We'll have to see what the future holds, if there even is a future. They are keeping her in the Mental Hospital indefinitely while having doctors administer her treatment plan - there's a scary thought.
Epilogue. . .
Not all doctors are bad, not all doctors are good. They're practicing medicine - on all of us. We're Guinea pigs. My message to everyone that reads this. . . Doctors are not omnipotent. What they say and do can help you or hurt you. The drugs they prescribe can have dire and sometimes deadly effects. The human body is a very fragile yet resilient thing. My girlfriend's life (and mine) has been altered and changed forever. She may never be the same, all at the hands of the people we put our money and our faith in to help us. We did not go into this blind or stupid. We asked questions, we did our homework, we did our research, we got referrals, we sought out the best of the best but even the best of the best can become the worst of the worst.
If anyone has a similar story or has any ideas that may help, please respond. I will try to provide updates regarding her condition in the days ahead.
I had a Urologist friend give me some advice one day. He said (and I quote) "If you want to stay well, stay the HELL away from doctors!"
If you are a doctor and you are reading this, I understand that it is dangerous to generalize and I realize that there are some great physicians that do a lot of good for people. Perhaps you're one of them that cares. If you are a good physician, this is obviously not written about you. If you are not a good physician with good ethics and moral conscience, then I suggest you read your professional medical oath again and try harder.
In good health. . .
UPDATE - Monday, September 17, 2007. . .
Margaret as started to slightly come around. She seems to have lost most of the paranoia and illusions and we actually had a nice visit this past Saturday night. She was able to communicate much better. Obviously, this is the result of medication at this point but hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel. She has a long way to go and I will provide updates on this blog every few days or when something is noteworthy.
UPDATE - Wednesday, September 19, 2007. . .
I spoke with Margaret - by phone - this evening and she sounded pretty good - coherent and lucid. She told me she has an appetite and that she's eating better and has gained 1 pound. She also told me that she may be getting released either this Thursday or Friday. She will be leaving "Inpatient" and starting treatment as an "Outpaitient". This means that for 2-3 weeks she will have to go back to the hospital every day for group therapy sessions. After that she will have to see a Psychologist and/or a Psychiatrist once a week.
UPDATE - Wednesday, September 29, 2007. . .
Margaret came home from the behavorial health hospital on September 20, 2007. I have not seen her since September 19. I have been respectfully staying away while her daughter is in town from the East Coast and looking after her. Margaret is now attending Cognitive Therapy every day for 8 weeks. The condo where we live is small so I moved out to provide the family with more room.
UPDATE - Sunday, Sept 31, 2007. . .
I went out on a date with Margaret!!!! I took her out for ice cream at Baskin Robbins. It felt good - no - it felt Great! She smiled a lot and laughed a few times. She said she couldn't remember the last time she did that - smile and laugh. . .
More details to follow. . .
UPDATE - Monday, October 1, 2007. . .
Margaret had a relapse and is back in a (different) Mental Hospital. She went to Cognitive Therapy today and something happened and she had a total collapse. We're somewhat back to square one. She's back to being paranoid and delusional. My heart is broken once again. I hate to see her like this and it's really, really wearing on me. I now have lost 12 pounds. It's hard to swallow food when you have a heart in your throat. I'm worried about her. Something just doesn't seem right regarding people in charge of her care. What are the motives here?
If there are any Psychiatrists reading this, please contact me so I can ask some questions about why the system continues to let her struggle rather than giving her some type of hope and plan for the future. She hasn't gotten any better in 5 weeks. She has a few good moments but mostly despair and depression. She continually talks about going to jail and being paranoid,
UPDATE - Thursday, October 4, 2007. . .
I went and saw Margaret as I have done every night since she went back into the hospital and she seemed a little better tonight, maybe 65-70%. It's so hard to see someone so scared and uncertain of everything. All I can do is be there for her until she gets out again.
UPDATE - Monday, October 8, 2007. . .
I visited Margaret 6 nights in a row and am going again this evening. An hour a day is all you get to see someone in Hotel Hell. They're an amazing place (mental Hospitals) where people go to get better mentally. Let's review all the wonderful ways they provide stimulation for someone to want to try and get better. . .
• They allow visitors only one hour a day to visit - 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM
• The facilities are so secure and jail like, visitors need to wear visitor badges
• You are herded into a security elevator that is controlled by a guard, with a key that
tells you where the elevator is going and when to get off
• There are beds that are so uncomfortable they make cots look good
• The rooms have no pictures, paintings, etc.
• You have to deal with an ego driven psychiatrist who's only goal is to try drugs on you
• You have to deal with a psychiatrist who continually tells you that you have problems
• There is no means to exercise or stay physically fit (this alone would solve most
mental problems)
• The food sucks
• There are few if any windows
• You have no privacy when you have visitors
¥ From the outside you have to call a comminity pay phone that everyone shares
¥ The phones are tapped and record all calls dialed or received
¥ While they are being tapped, the technology is so antiquated you can hear each other
¥ It's almost impossible to get well
The nurse keep telling me every night that I visit, "Margaret is just so depressed we're not sure what the problem is." HELLO!!! She's in a %$@#*& Jail! Could that possibly be the reason?????
Now, because she's so depressed (so they say) they want to perform an ECT on her. Basically what this means is that they want to hook her up to electrodes and place her on the doorstep of electrocution, electronically shaking her body into a near seizure state. Remember the movies from the old days where they did this an made people go completely mad? I told her to deny the treatment at all costs.
Anyway, I asked if there were any side effects. They said, very minimal ones and she may slowly get her memory back within 2-4 months.
WHAT!!!!! I mean, can this get any worse or more insane?!?!?! These people are all nuts. I am so angry and so disgusted and feel so helpless and confused by all of this, I'll probably be sharing the bed next to Margaret soon.
I'm serious, I don't know how much more of this I can take. These people are absolutely beyond description. As a friend of mine said, "It's like Hotel California, you can check in but you can never leave."
UPDATE - Thursday, October 25, 2007. . .
It's a miracle but through constant pressure on the system at the mental (destroy your) health hospital Margaret was released and picked up by her Father today. He and I have been pressuring these morons for days and days to let her out and we would take care of her. She looked anorexic and worn out when I saw her at the house later that day. Her Dad stayed in town for a few days to keep an eye on her and then I took over. He had to leave for a business trip in China. Things seemed to be going fairly well. . .
UPDATE - Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Margaret had a bit of a relapse and took some more pills. I called her from work during the day and there was no answer. I tried several times to reach her. I finally just kept hitting speed dial over and over and over and over until she finally picked up the phone. She could barely talk so I rushed over to her house and found her on the edge of passing out. She hadn't taken as many things as the original accidental overdose but she was nevertheless pretty screwed up. I asked her what she took and it was once again the Tylenol diet. I had removed everything drug related from the house but she went to the pharmacy and bought some Tylenol.
This time I decided that she wasn't in danger of dying bu I was concerned that she may cause damage to her Liver due to Tylenol toxicity. Tylenol does nasty things to your Liver/Kidneys, etc. I took her to the ER at another San Diego hospital to get her Liver enzyme levels checked out. She was in the hospital for one night for observation and everything seemed to check out OK. A hospital Psychiatric specialist came in to visit with us for over an hour and basically said she was free to go home but would check her records to confirm things with other doctors. He said she, nor any member of her family, has any mental health issues and never has. His feelings were that it was hormonal in nature or possibly Thyroid related. He asked if anyone ever checked her Thyroid in all of this. . .What? Thyroid? Uh. . . .no. . .was someone supposed to?
UPDATE - Wednesday, October 31, 2007
How appropriate that it was Halloween. It could not have been scripted any better. The hospital Psychiatrist that said she was OK and could be released came back in to the room that Margaret was in and said that he talked to her doctor at the Mental (destroy your) health and he frantically recommended that she get brought back into his clutches immediately. I guess he needed to suck some more money out of her for his boat payment.
It gets worse. . .
Anyway, like I said, it was Halloween and this was the perfect horror story being played out by unqualified actors and directors. I asked the hospital staff if there was options and why is one doctor overturning the diagnosis of another. Obviously to me, the guy stating that it was a hormonal imbalance made more sense to me than some nut case who felt the only treatment was Electro-Convulsive Therapy. They said there is no option, she has to go back to the Mental (destroy your) health hospital.
Now it's gotten past the point of ridiculous. . .
I offered to take her. They said no, she needs to be transported by ambulance. I guess they had car and boat payments due too. If this wasn't so tragic, it would be laughable. The medical system is about one thing and one thing only - MONEY! They could care less about your health - in fact the more screwed up they can make you or keep you, the more money can be made by the most people.
I suggested that they take her in a police car instead of an ambulance. A: It would be free for us because it's a publicly funded vehicle and B: Margaret was obviously such a threat to everyone in society they would be able to gag, handcuff and shackle her for our safety. I went ballistic.
She was going on her own choice based on the fact that we were out of options - or were we. . .
Mind you - Margaret was voluntarily going to the hospital but there is tons of fine print involved when you're dealing with these sinister people. I absolutely went postal. I called her Dad who equally went postal. It was decided that I would call 911 and have Police officers come and meet me - and the ambulance that Margaret would be transported in - the Mental (destroy your) Health facility.
It got even more ugly. . .
It was an ugly scene - 2 squad cars, me yelling at one of the officers and three hospital staff members pleading their case that they only want the best for Margaret and this is the best place for her and blah, blah, blah. Margaret was in the back of the ambulance looking out at me arguing with the police officer and the hospital staff and she was tired and confused by the whole thing and she had no idea that I had called the police on my cell phone on the way down to the hospital. I pleaded my case to the officer that this place has done nothing for Margaret the weeks that she was already here and all they did was make a ton of money while making her worse. I explained that the system is broken, flawed and totally out of whack and that to allow her back in there would be criminal. He said "OK, wait her let me go and talk to your girlfriend." Margaret didn't hear anything that I told the officer because the ambulance was running and we were standing quite a ways away from her. She thought I had done something wrong and was in trouble. She didn't know what was going on, remember, she had no idea that I had called the police to try and protect her from having to go back in the facility.
The officer went over to the back of the ambulance and talked to her and I was asked to stay away and calm down so an officer from the other squad car kept me in check. The head officer came back after a 3-4 minute meeting with Margaret and said to me "She said she is voluntarily going into the hospital and that she is OK with it." "As long as she is capable of making her own decisions, I have to allow her to do what she wants to do." The problem was that Margaret thought she was helping me by just doing what everyone wanted and because she didn't hear what I was telling the officer or the staff from the hospital, she didn't know that I was trying to keep her from going in there.
I - again - felt totally hopeless and defeated. The system won another round. Or did they?
The big scene that I had made outside of the hospital entrance certainly wouldn't win me any Academy Awards but it did - as it turned out - leave an impact. Although I never got to speak to Margaret's doctors personally over the weeks that she was "locked up" they knew that I existed because of Margaret's talks with them They avoided me like the plaque and never once returned any of my calls to discuss her situation with them.
What they learned abut me and Margaret's Dad was that we weren't going to put up with any more of their medieval torture chamber tactics. The police and that whole scene outside the entrance, that was witnessed by so many hospital staff members, was going to be a very strong message to them that they can avoid speaking to us but they cannot avoid our keeping an eye on every move they make with Margaret. Now they knew they were being watched.
It would pay dividends. . .I'm glad I called the police when I did.
UPDATE - Monday, November 5, 2007
I got a call from Margaret in the morning from "Hotel Hell". They were releasing her to my custody. Hmmmmm, very interesting, they are releasing her after only 5 days but the last time she was in over a month. Think they got a little scared about the police cars and the scene in front of the building a few days earlier?
I brought Margaret home with some conditions from the Mental (destroy your) Health hospital that I would be responsible for her care and that she would have to attend Cognitive Therapy classes every day - Monday through Friday for an indefinite period.
It was shortly after that that I started to do even more extensive investigative work on the internet about what could have caused this drastic chemical or hormonal change in a person and guess what - the Thyroid factor came up every time. More investigation stated that when a person suffers from these huge changes in behavior, the Thyroid is the FIRST thing people are supposed to check.
No one did. In every place Margaret had been and in all the days, weeks and months that had passed, there was absolutely no record of anyone checking her Thyroid.
This is completely unacceptable and criminal on the medical system's part.
UPDATE - Monday December 3, 2007
After nearly 4 months of disastrous doctor and hospital proceedings and after months of therapies and life changing experiences - Margaret went back to work. There was a big celebration and she was the happiest I had seen her in a long, long time. It was great, she had truly come all the way back and things looked like they were back to normal.
UPDATE - Tuesday, December 4, 2007
The joy and excitement was short lived, the nightmare continues. . .
She went in to work on Tuesday morning and was laid off as a part of a big cut back at her company. How in the Hell could this be? When in the Hell is this cloud of disappointment and doom going to pass? How much longer can every positive step turn into sadness? One step forard and 2 steps back - every time. If I wasn't living this with her I would never believe it. I wouldn't blame you for not believing this as you read it. I really wouldn't.
UPDATE - Wednesday, December 26, 2007. . .
Margaret and I had a nice Christmas and are looking forward to 2008. She has most of her weight back and is happy again. She has a great job opportunity that she will be interviewing for tomorrow. She's excited about life again. Never in my life did I despise or detest anything as much as I did the year 2007. Everything and anything that could have gone wrong - did in 2007 - to both of us. The champagne and food on New Year's Eve this year will taste the sweetest it ever has.
Now we have to look forward to the lawsuits that will be laid upon the medical system that profited by a woman's plight that was grossly misdiagnosed by scores of medical system idiots that will now have to pay the piper.
Margaret and I wish everyone a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year!
Stay tuned. . .
This is a true, heartbreaking story about the love of my life and my best friend. It could happen to you or someone you know. Although I've heard about these horror stories I never thought it would/could ever happen to me or anyone I knew but. . .BOOM!
Grab a nutritional drink, a carrot stick, some blueberries, a pomegranate, well, you get the idea. . .Good nutrition today, keeps ALL doctors away. . .
There will be many chapters to this story, make sure to check back for more. . .I write this story anonymously and remain anonymous because the key person in the story is still caught in the web of the business of medicine and crackpot doctors. Until she's home and well our names have been changed to protect the weary and innocent. Updates regarding her condition will be mentioned at the bottom of the page.
Preface - The downward spiral of a wonderful woman. . .
My story begins with a beautiful, vibrant, talented, capable, loving, caring woman who happens to be my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years. We live(d) together, we breath together, we dream together and we work together. We are a team. She's the love of my life. She was a model and acted in television shows.
This beautiful life has been taken away from me, slowly over the past several months. My sweet girl has gone from 138 pounds (5' 7" tall) to 102 pounds. She has gone from a multi tasking, multi functioning, healthy person to a result of medical incompetencies and bureaucracy. Yes, she has fallen between the health care cracks. She's a number on a page. She's a dilapidated, dog eared, file folder of broken dreams and poor records - records written by people that are trained to simply go through the motions and pump pills for profit.
When I was a kid I always thought hospitals were magic places where people went to get well and doctors were magicians who fixed broken arms and dreams.
Man, was I ever mistaken. . .
This story goes down a long, twisted road of General Practitioners, OBGYNs, Surgeons, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Radiologists, Emergency Rooms, Operating Rooms, Intensive Care Units, Hospital Rooms, Mental Health Facilities, Detox Facilities, 911 Call, Paramedics, Police, Ambulances, Nutritionists, Osteopathic Doctors and more. Feel free to ask, comment, discuss, question as much as you want. This story is not a pretty one but it needs to be told and talked about - by everyone.
Stay tuned for more details but the following is the true story as of now.
Please pray and hold a good thought for my beloved girlfriend, that she will get well and live happily ever after. . .with me.
Chapter 1 - My Stomach hurts. . .
It was a night around the middle of November, 2006. We had just finished a great meal at one of our favorite Italian restaurants here in San Diego and about an hour later, my mate (we'll call her Margaret) mentioned to me that she had terrible pains in her stomach area. I remember her showing me the spot that it hurt. She asked what was in that area and I told her that the Gall Bladder was there as well as a portion of the large Intestine, etc. I told her it was probably just indigestion. She said "it hurts really bad and I've never had this pain before." I got her some Antacids and told her let's see what happens in a little while.
She was tired (and a trouper) and went to bed and slept through the night as I recall. The next day we talked about it and I suggested that we see what happens after she has another large meal. Well she did and it did - return. I said that we probably should get it looked at as soon as we can get an appointment with her usual family doctor. She saw him within a couple of days and he recommended seeing a Gastroenterologist. We made an appointment and it was decided that she should have an Endoscopy. A few days later, she did just that and it showed nothing. It was recommended that she see a Physician who specialized in stomach surgeries. He examined her and did a Sigmoidoscopy on the spot.
SURPRISE! It showed nothing. He suggested she should have a Colonoscopy. A few days later (after all of the lovely prep work) she did and it showed nothing. It was then suggested that it could be the Gall Bladder acting up. We went back to the Stomach surgery expert and talked to him about it. He suggested a prescription that might help and - are you ready for this? That she get some more tests. Did I mention how much times it takes away from work to do all of this, me driving her, me waiting in waiting and recovery rooms and her feeling awful. I was there for her and loved her, comforted and assured her in every way I could that she would be better soon.
Anyway, she had to prep once again and this time it was the very futuristic, quiet and roomy Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) machine. Yup, you're right - it showed nothing. Back to the surgeon. Now he suggested yet another test (you have to realize, that there was still many more people in the medical field in different departments that needed to make Mercedes, Porsches, airplane and boat payments). This time we were off to the wonderful World of CAT Scan. Right again, it showed nothing. The next venture found us traveling to the (Anti-Greenpeace) Universe of Nuclear Medicine. It was similar to a CAT scan only this time Margaret got to drink radioactive material (that will forever probably make her glow in the dark) and fully contort herself uncomfortably for a ridiculous amount of time. Again, I was at her side comforting her.
Oh yeah, forgot to tell you - the test showed nothing. Margaret was now 5 pounds lighter as a result from not wanting to eat (because of the pain) and from prepping and participating in all of the tests she went through. The bank account was losing weight also from Co-pays, etc.
Back to the surgeon. He said I don't know what else to do (everyone has made their car, plane and boat payments) and I don't see any conclusive evidence that your Gall Bladder is the culprit. Margaret now had started to have more GI problems including the ever-popular Diarrhea. Great weight loss plan.
Despite all the tests, despite all the medications, despite no absolute indication of a Gall Bladder "Red Flag", it was decided that he would surgically remove it as Margaret's pain was not going to go away. It was agreed that the operation would take place just before Christmas.
Off to yet another trip to the hospital. How callus of us to forget the Anesthesiologist. (As it turned out, he had a Ferrari payment due). . .
So Margaret, can you count to 10 for me? "1, 2, 3, 4, 5. . . .zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Chapter 2 - Yes, I'm sure. . .
I took Margaret to the hospital at 7:00 AM and once we checked in we were eventually taken to the Pre-Operation room for an 8:30 surgery. She looked weak, she looked tired and she looked nervous. She also had lost another 3 pounds at this point. The surgeon and his assistant came in a greeted us pleasantly and reminded Margaret that there was no absolute, positive or revealing facts that would indicate that her Gall Bladder was the culprit causing her acute abdomen pain.
He put his hand on her stomach area and pressed down in some areas and asked if this or that hurt. When he was in the area where the Gall Bladder would be, there was a lot of discomfort. He said, "well, there are times we have to take the patient's advice and you certainly know your body better than diagnostic machines or we do."
"So you do want us to remove your Gall Bladder?" the doctor asked with (I must say) a genuine look and hope that she might say no. . .
She said, "Doctor, Yes, I'm sure, I am in pain every time I eat and sometimes randomly, I am willing to take the chance to get rid of this feeling."
He assured her that there (was a slight chance that) could be something in the bile ducts or a stone lodged in the GB neck, etc. that could have been missed in all of the testing.
So, with a last loving and caring hug and kiss for good luck from me, off she went to have one of her 46 year old Gall Bladder removed (whether it needed it or not) and tossed away. . .
Chapter 3 - What else could it be. . .
Margaret came through the operation fine. I met her in recovery and assured her that everything went well and we will wait to speak with the doctor to see what they found. Within an hour or so she was in a room on one of the floors and I (and the nurse(s) helped her get settled. The doctor came in later in the day with several images to show us. They were photos that were taken inside the body that showed more than enough to put me into vaso-vagal response and yes, I almost passed out. He explained to us that he did not see any obvious damage or non-functioning signs with the Gall Bladder but removed it anyway as requested. He did say that he found a large Cyst however but doubted that it would have caused all of her abdomen pain.
Margaret sobbed and the look on her face said it all - she was back to square one. Again, I comforted her with a broken heart of my own.
She came home two days later and tried to re-establish some sense of a normal routine and an attempt to get on with her life. It still hurt when she ate, particularly heavy, rich or spicy foods but she was a trouper and pressed on. It was a month or so later that she started to have some more pain and the Diarrhea became more frequent. She had now lost nearly 12 pounds in just under two months. She asked her GP what he thought about this ongoing problem which was causing her stress, anxiety and depression and he suggested Cipro, an Antibiotic that has been around for a long time. His thought was that there was an infection and this would clear it up. He also put her on Paxil, an Anti-Depressant. Margaret was also a business partner with me and we were trying to sell our business, I had lost a lot of time working at my new job and the bills were piling up. This didn't help either of us in the stress department.
Around this same time, Margaret went in for her annual check up at the OBGYN and, after hearing all about the symptoms, the OBGYN suggested another type of Antibiotic that could be taken simultaneously with the Cipro. HUH? Are you kidding me? I never heard of such a thing, taking two Antibiotics at once. One other thing, the OBGYN told Margaret that she was in Pre-Menopause - that wonderful period in a Woman's life where men hide all sharp objects from their wives and girlfriends and bring flowers home every day. It also helps to switch their mattresses from pillow top to sponge top to absorb all the moisture from hot flash sweats. The OBGYN also suggested for stress, anxiety and depression, Zanax. We were soon on the road to serious problems that at the time I couldn't have even imagined.
Margaret took the pills as prescribed by the two doctors and after about a week and a half to two weeks her Diarrhea and stomach area pain turned into a chronic and serious situation. The wonderfful side effects of Anti-Depressants is many things, including - Diarrhea. Now the constant pain and discomfort from weeks and months of Gastrointestinal issues was starting to wear on Margaret. She became even more withdrawn, depressed, stressed and anxious although while on the Anti-Depressants she was (slightly) better. To say that continual Diarrhea is enough to make someone depressed and anxious is an understatement but when you couple that to a lack of nutrition from food going right through you and a loss of electrolytes due to dehydration, you have a very serious dilemma. My heart ached for her and the light of my life was now dim and flickering.
The problems were just beginning, she was slowly becoming addicted to the Benzodiazepine drugs she was on. . .
Chapter 4 - Yet another trip(s) to the ER. . .
It was a Thursday evening in the first week of July right after dinner when Margaret had some severe stomach pain. Off to the ER we went and were finally seen (after a long period in the waiting room). The doctor examined her, asked a bunch of questions, asked her what she'd been taking and suggested some medication - it was the old - take 2 pills and call me in the morning.
Here's a shock, the pills did not work.
It was a Saturday in mid July in the early morning hours that Margaret became doubled over in pain. She now had lost nearly 20 pounds which put her at about 118. She started all of this at around 138 pounds. She said that she could not take the pain and I suggested a trip to the ER at the usual hospital to have her checked out. She agreed that it might be best. We arrived at the ER around 8:00 AM and after waiting for around an hour, they took her into one of the examining rooms. There we waited another hour or so to be seen by the ER doctor. He checked her over, she asked if the GI specialist she had seen in the past was available. He was and came in and saw her. She asked if they could do a CAT Scan with contrast and they obliged with the CAT scan but no contrast. It showed nothing. She was still in pain. They recommended that they admit her, that way they could keep an eye on her and also there were Psychiatrists available. "WHAT!!!!! Psychiatrists???? What the Hell does she need a Psychiatrist for?" "She has stomach issues!!!!" "Are you people nuts?"
This is where Margaret's descent into the dark side of the medical profession truly begins - as if it wasn't bad enough already. . .I was beyond furious with physicians at this point.
Chapter 5 - Meet with the Chief Psychiatrist?. . .
On her third day in the hospital, it was suggested to me in a private meeting with the Chief Psychiatrist that Margaret needed mental help. He said she should be admitted to a mental hospital. I wanted to strangle the guy. He doesn't even know her - but I DO! How could he say this about the love of my life. Mental health? Had anyone considered how much Diarrhea effects someone's mental health when you go to the bathroom 10 times a day and are losing weight at an alarming rate? Did anyone ever think of looking at the "small intestine" as the source of her problems. Parasitic activity is rampant in the small intestine after gall Bladder surgery - I even know that from the basic research I have done.
We (Margaret and I) decided that she would go and see a Psychiatrist, on her own 2-3 times a week just to see if there was anything helpful about it. She really wanted to ween off of the drugs she was on also so we visited an Osteopathic doctor who helped to ajust dosages. This is not an exact science and it is truly by seeing what works. The woman was a wonderful, compassionate, caring doctor.
Three days later, at roughly 3:00 AM she had a complete meltdown and I rushed her to the ER at a hospital that also had a mental health facility in San Diego. On the way to the hospital, traveling at over 90 miles per hour (hey, it's the only time there isn't traffic in Southern California) I prayed silently while assuring Margaret that she wasn't going to die although she kept repeating that she was over and over. In the ER, Margaret was literally crawling out of her skin and kept saying she was going to die. Her heat rate was 125 beats a minute and her blood pressure was off the chart. They administered some Adavan and within 15-20 minutes she was back to (absolute) normal mentally - just like nothing ever happened.
For all of you medical scientists and researchers that work for Biovail Pharmaceuticals, Inc. and Baxter Healthcare Corp., the makers of Ativan, I thank you. Although I do not like or take medicine - at all - and have always felt the side effects of medicine are not worth it, your drug helped the love of my life at her darkest hour. It was like magic watching her return to normal in an amazingly short amount of time.
She was admitted into the Mental Health facility and was there for 5 days. Did I happen to mention that her stomach problems were still with her? People were working on the wrong end of her body although she now - thanks to doctors for prescribing the wrong things and the wrong dosages and too much medicine overall - was losing even more weight. The one person who was the bright spot in all of this was the Osteopathic doctor in Del Mar, CA. She continued to call me to check on how she was doing.
Paxil is usually prescribed in a 5mg dose. One doctor screwed up and prescribed 25mg dosages.
She was now on Lexipro also. She was a mess and rapidly becoming a victim of the World of pharmaceuticals and no one seemed to care. 112 pounds and losing more weight.
Chapter 6 - Situation hopeless?. . .
She came home from the Mental Health hospital and lasted about a week. It was then that we ended up admitting her into a detox center. This was our choice, Margaret and I decided it might be the only way to get off the drugs. The problem? We admitted her on a Friday and they do not do any treatments at all over the weekend. We wasted 3 days and she came back home on Monday night. She went back to the Osteopathic doctor for more evaluation and more Benzodiazepine dosage alterations. Again, this woman doctor was there for us and truly did everything she could.
She also saw a nutritionist to see if there was something he could do that would keep food in her body so she would not be nutrient starved and that was more wasted time.
She tried. She really, really tried. I have never seen a stronger human being. By now we had both lost weeks of work, she lost more weight, she was on disability and became very introvertish. She was checking out. She had pretty much given up.
Weeks and months of doctor visits, sleepless nights, 100's of trips to the bathroom, things that did not work, doctors whom she felt could help but they could only see her once because they were leaving on vacation for weeks, too much medication, too many feelings of hope dashed by broken dreams and promises by treatmant plans. She had reached the end of hope. Despair and hopelessness were now her best friends. Even I didn't know how deep her inner feelings of doom were and we were together 24/7.
Chapter 7 - "911 Operator, what's your emergency?". . .
I found Margaret at 9:30 PM, Thursday, August 31, 2007, passed out on her bed. I tried to revive her but couldn't. I immediately called 911. She had overdosed on Ambien and Tylenol. Ambien was something that she took every night to try to sleep. This was the day that she was going to sleep no matter what, perhaps forever.
The paramedics arrived within 8 minutes. Amazing. there was a total of 6 people in her bedroom - 2 from the ambulance and 4 from the firetruck plus a Police Officer who was just outside the room. There was equipment and opened medical packages everywhere that held siringes, IV components, tape, etc. It looked like a MASH unit. They could not revive her either. They took her vitals - heart rate at 48 BPM, through in an IV, placed an oxygen mask on her and transported her to the closest hospital in La Jolla, CA. Thankfully - I was there for her, yet again, hopefully in time. I was in shock, I was numb, I was scared and worried for her.
I stayed behind and was questioned by the Police officer about what I thought happened. I told him point blank that she was a victim of a medical system that was completely incompetent and out of touch. I got to the hospital an hour later and it wasn't until about 1:30 AM that I got to see her. She was still unconscious and it was so sad to see her with a stomach pump tube sticking out of her nose that was black from the charcoal. I held her hand for an hour or so and whispered things in her ear to see if she would come around. I told her over and over again that I loved her and was there for her. The nurse said that I should go home, there was nothing more I could do and she would call me if she woke up.
I came back the next day early and she was in the Intensive Care Unit, still unconscious. I again held her hand, stroked her face and hair and talked to her lovingly. She regained consciousness around 1:00 PM. She was there for 5 days in the Intensive Care Unit where they filtered all the remaining toxins out of her body and got her eating again. It was decided that she should be transported to the Mental Health facility associated with the Hospital.
I went down there with her, as I have done every step of the way for over 4 months. Margaret was now 104 pounds. When we arrived at the Mental Health Unit, it was not a pretty sight. There was some pretty scary people there and Margaret was very frightened and did not want to stay. She had a pretty bad anxiety attack and the nurse said the only way she could administer any drugs to help her was if she signed herself in. In other words - 'A deal With The Devil'. I made the decision that her immediate need for help was more crucial than the thought of just getting out of there. Besides, she couldn't just go home and risk the chance of another overdose or worse. She signed in, they gave her some Adavan and within 20 minutes she was back to being lucid and coherent.
Familyis coming into town tomorrow and they will be calling all the shots and I will be thrown to the curb. The family and I do not get along. They live in other areas of the country.
Chapter 8 - Can anyone read?. . .
With all of her charts and medical records, enough information to fill a van, they still screwed up. By the third second day of being in "Hotel Hell" they had her "Cold Turkey" and detoxing. The problem is that if you have been on Benzodiazepines, you must be - have to be - weened off slowly. They missed the boat. Now she became Psychotic, paranoid and delusional. Her doctor asked me, "so how many weeks has she been like this?" I said "she had never, ever been like this until she came here and you guys messed her up." Now I can't talk to her, she says she's going to jail, she's seeing things that don't exist and now she thinks it best that I don't visit her.
Margaret thinks everyone is in on a conspiracy, they're going to take her away, she trusts no one and has said goodbye to me and that she will never see me again.
The love of my life is now a nightmare and there is no end in sight. How could this happen? How can so many medical experts get it so wrong. The sad thing is that a couple of days before she overdosed, we went to a very intelligent Gastroenterologist that had some new ideas and tests that no one else even thought of. I think we really could have gotten somewhere with this doctor but now we may never know.
We'll have to see what the future holds, if there even is a future. They are keeping her in the Mental Hospital indefinitely while having doctors administer her treatment plan - there's a scary thought.
Epilogue. . .
Not all doctors are bad, not all doctors are good. They're practicing medicine - on all of us. We're Guinea pigs. My message to everyone that reads this. . . Doctors are not omnipotent. What they say and do can help you or hurt you. The drugs they prescribe can have dire and sometimes deadly effects. The human body is a very fragile yet resilient thing. My girlfriend's life (and mine) has been altered and changed forever. She may never be the same, all at the hands of the people we put our money and our faith in to help us. We did not go into this blind or stupid. We asked questions, we did our homework, we did our research, we got referrals, we sought out the best of the best but even the best of the best can become the worst of the worst.
If anyone has a similar story or has any ideas that may help, please respond. I will try to provide updates regarding her condition in the days ahead.
I had a Urologist friend give me some advice one day. He said (and I quote) "If you want to stay well, stay the HELL away from doctors!"
If you are a doctor and you are reading this, I understand that it is dangerous to generalize and I realize that there are some great physicians that do a lot of good for people. Perhaps you're one of them that cares. If you are a good physician, this is obviously not written about you. If you are not a good physician with good ethics and moral conscience, then I suggest you read your professional medical oath again and try harder.
In good health. . .
UPDATE - Monday, September 17, 2007. . .
Margaret as started to slightly come around. She seems to have lost most of the paranoia and illusions and we actually had a nice visit this past Saturday night. She was able to communicate much better. Obviously, this is the result of medication at this point but hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel. She has a long way to go and I will provide updates on this blog every few days or when something is noteworthy.
UPDATE - Wednesday, September 19, 2007. . .
I spoke with Margaret - by phone - this evening and she sounded pretty good - coherent and lucid. She told me she has an appetite and that she's eating better and has gained 1 pound. She also told me that she may be getting released either this Thursday or Friday. She will be leaving "Inpatient" and starting treatment as an "Outpaitient". This means that for 2-3 weeks she will have to go back to the hospital every day for group therapy sessions. After that she will have to see a Psychologist and/or a Psychiatrist once a week.
UPDATE - Wednesday, September 29, 2007. . .
Margaret came home from the behavorial health hospital on September 20, 2007. I have not seen her since September 19. I have been respectfully staying away while her daughter is in town from the East Coast and looking after her. Margaret is now attending Cognitive Therapy every day for 8 weeks. The condo where we live is small so I moved out to provide the family with more room.
UPDATE - Sunday, Sept 31, 2007. . .
I went out on a date with Margaret!!!! I took her out for ice cream at Baskin Robbins. It felt good - no - it felt Great! She smiled a lot and laughed a few times. She said she couldn't remember the last time she did that - smile and laugh. . .
More details to follow. . .
UPDATE - Monday, October 1, 2007. . .
Margaret had a relapse and is back in a (different) Mental Hospital. She went to Cognitive Therapy today and something happened and she had a total collapse. We're somewhat back to square one. She's back to being paranoid and delusional. My heart is broken once again. I hate to see her like this and it's really, really wearing on me. I now have lost 12 pounds. It's hard to swallow food when you have a heart in your throat. I'm worried about her. Something just doesn't seem right regarding people in charge of her care. What are the motives here?
If there are any Psychiatrists reading this, please contact me so I can ask some questions about why the system continues to let her struggle rather than giving her some type of hope and plan for the future. She hasn't gotten any better in 5 weeks. She has a few good moments but mostly despair and depression. She continually talks about going to jail and being paranoid,
UPDATE - Thursday, October 4, 2007. . .
I went and saw Margaret as I have done every night since she went back into the hospital and she seemed a little better tonight, maybe 65-70%. It's so hard to see someone so scared and uncertain of everything. All I can do is be there for her until she gets out again.
UPDATE - Monday, October 8, 2007. . .
I visited Margaret 6 nights in a row and am going again this evening. An hour a day is all you get to see someone in Hotel Hell. They're an amazing place (mental Hospitals) where people go to get better mentally. Let's review all the wonderful ways they provide stimulation for someone to want to try and get better. . .
• They allow visitors only one hour a day to visit - 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM
• The facilities are so secure and jail like, visitors need to wear visitor badges
• You are herded into a security elevator that is controlled by a guard, with a key that
tells you where the elevator is going and when to get off
• There are beds that are so uncomfortable they make cots look good
• The rooms have no pictures, paintings, etc.
• You have to deal with an ego driven psychiatrist who's only goal is to try drugs on you
• You have to deal with a psychiatrist who continually tells you that you have problems
• There is no means to exercise or stay physically fit (this alone would solve most
mental problems)
• The food sucks
• There are few if any windows
• You have no privacy when you have visitors
¥ From the outside you have to call a comminity pay phone that everyone shares
¥ The phones are tapped and record all calls dialed or received
¥ While they are being tapped, the technology is so antiquated you can hear each other
¥ It's almost impossible to get well
The nurse keep telling me every night that I visit, "Margaret is just so depressed we're not sure what the problem is." HELLO!!! She's in a %$@#*& Jail! Could that possibly be the reason?????
Now, because she's so depressed (so they say) they want to perform an ECT on her. Basically what this means is that they want to hook her up to electrodes and place her on the doorstep of electrocution, electronically shaking her body into a near seizure state. Remember the movies from the old days where they did this an made people go completely mad? I told her to deny the treatment at all costs.
Anyway, I asked if there were any side effects. They said, very minimal ones and she may slowly get her memory back within 2-4 months.
WHAT!!!!! I mean, can this get any worse or more insane?!?!?! These people are all nuts. I am so angry and so disgusted and feel so helpless and confused by all of this, I'll probably be sharing the bed next to Margaret soon.
I'm serious, I don't know how much more of this I can take. These people are absolutely beyond description. As a friend of mine said, "It's like Hotel California, you can check in but you can never leave."
UPDATE - Thursday, October 25, 2007. . .
It's a miracle but through constant pressure on the system at the mental (destroy your) health hospital Margaret was released and picked up by her Father today. He and I have been pressuring these morons for days and days to let her out and we would take care of her. She looked anorexic and worn out when I saw her at the house later that day. Her Dad stayed in town for a few days to keep an eye on her and then I took over. He had to leave for a business trip in China. Things seemed to be going fairly well. . .
UPDATE - Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Margaret had a bit of a relapse and took some more pills. I called her from work during the day and there was no answer. I tried several times to reach her. I finally just kept hitting speed dial over and over and over and over until she finally picked up the phone. She could barely talk so I rushed over to her house and found her on the edge of passing out. She hadn't taken as many things as the original accidental overdose but she was nevertheless pretty screwed up. I asked her what she took and it was once again the Tylenol diet. I had removed everything drug related from the house but she went to the pharmacy and bought some Tylenol.
This time I decided that she wasn't in danger of dying bu I was concerned that she may cause damage to her Liver due to Tylenol toxicity. Tylenol does nasty things to your Liver/Kidneys, etc. I took her to the ER at another San Diego hospital to get her Liver enzyme levels checked out. She was in the hospital for one night for observation and everything seemed to check out OK. A hospital Psychiatric specialist came in to visit with us for over an hour and basically said she was free to go home but would check her records to confirm things with other doctors. He said she, nor any member of her family, has any mental health issues and never has. His feelings were that it was hormonal in nature or possibly Thyroid related. He asked if anyone ever checked her Thyroid in all of this. . .What? Thyroid? Uh. . . .no. . .was someone supposed to?
UPDATE - Wednesday, October 31, 2007
How appropriate that it was Halloween. It could not have been scripted any better. The hospital Psychiatrist that said she was OK and could be released came back in to the room that Margaret was in and said that he talked to her doctor at the Mental (destroy your) health and he frantically recommended that she get brought back into his clutches immediately. I guess he needed to suck some more money out of her for his boat payment.
It gets worse. . .
Anyway, like I said, it was Halloween and this was the perfect horror story being played out by unqualified actors and directors. I asked the hospital staff if there was options and why is one doctor overturning the diagnosis of another. Obviously to me, the guy stating that it was a hormonal imbalance made more sense to me than some nut case who felt the only treatment was Electro-Convulsive Therapy. They said there is no option, she has to go back to the Mental (destroy your) health hospital.
Now it's gotten past the point of ridiculous. . .
I offered to take her. They said no, she needs to be transported by ambulance. I guess they had car and boat payments due too. If this wasn't so tragic, it would be laughable. The medical system is about one thing and one thing only - MONEY! They could care less about your health - in fact the more screwed up they can make you or keep you, the more money can be made by the most people.
I suggested that they take her in a police car instead of an ambulance. A: It would be free for us because it's a publicly funded vehicle and B: Margaret was obviously such a threat to everyone in society they would be able to gag, handcuff and shackle her for our safety. I went ballistic.
She was going on her own choice based on the fact that we were out of options - or were we. . .
Mind you - Margaret was voluntarily going to the hospital but there is tons of fine print involved when you're dealing with these sinister people. I absolutely went postal. I called her Dad who equally went postal. It was decided that I would call 911 and have Police officers come and meet me - and the ambulance that Margaret would be transported in - the Mental (destroy your) Health facility.
It got even more ugly. . .
It was an ugly scene - 2 squad cars, me yelling at one of the officers and three hospital staff members pleading their case that they only want the best for Margaret and this is the best place for her and blah, blah, blah. Margaret was in the back of the ambulance looking out at me arguing with the police officer and the hospital staff and she was tired and confused by the whole thing and she had no idea that I had called the police on my cell phone on the way down to the hospital. I pleaded my case to the officer that this place has done nothing for Margaret the weeks that she was already here and all they did was make a ton of money while making her worse. I explained that the system is broken, flawed and totally out of whack and that to allow her back in there would be criminal. He said "OK, wait her let me go and talk to your girlfriend." Margaret didn't hear anything that I told the officer because the ambulance was running and we were standing quite a ways away from her. She thought I had done something wrong and was in trouble. She didn't know what was going on, remember, she had no idea that I had called the police to try and protect her from having to go back in the facility.
The officer went over to the back of the ambulance and talked to her and I was asked to stay away and calm down so an officer from the other squad car kept me in check. The head officer came back after a 3-4 minute meeting with Margaret and said to me "She said she is voluntarily going into the hospital and that she is OK with it." "As long as she is capable of making her own decisions, I have to allow her to do what she wants to do." The problem was that Margaret thought she was helping me by just doing what everyone wanted and because she didn't hear what I was telling the officer or the staff from the hospital, she didn't know that I was trying to keep her from going in there.
I - again - felt totally hopeless and defeated. The system won another round. Or did they?
The big scene that I had made outside of the hospital entrance certainly wouldn't win me any Academy Awards but it did - as it turned out - leave an impact. Although I never got to speak to Margaret's doctors personally over the weeks that she was "locked up" they knew that I existed because of Margaret's talks with them They avoided me like the plaque and never once returned any of my calls to discuss her situation with them.
What they learned abut me and Margaret's Dad was that we weren't going to put up with any more of their medieval torture chamber tactics. The police and that whole scene outside the entrance, that was witnessed by so many hospital staff members, was going to be a very strong message to them that they can avoid speaking to us but they cannot avoid our keeping an eye on every move they make with Margaret. Now they knew they were being watched.
It would pay dividends. . .I'm glad I called the police when I did.
UPDATE - Monday, November 5, 2007
I got a call from Margaret in the morning from "Hotel Hell". They were releasing her to my custody. Hmmmmm, very interesting, they are releasing her after only 5 days but the last time she was in over a month. Think they got a little scared about the police cars and the scene in front of the building a few days earlier?
I brought Margaret home with some conditions from the Mental (destroy your) Health hospital that I would be responsible for her care and that she would have to attend Cognitive Therapy classes every day - Monday through Friday for an indefinite period.
It was shortly after that that I started to do even more extensive investigative work on the internet about what could have caused this drastic chemical or hormonal change in a person and guess what - the Thyroid factor came up every time. More investigation stated that when a person suffers from these huge changes in behavior, the Thyroid is the FIRST thing people are supposed to check.
No one did. In every place Margaret had been and in all the days, weeks and months that had passed, there was absolutely no record of anyone checking her Thyroid.
This is completely unacceptable and criminal on the medical system's part.
UPDATE - Monday December 3, 2007
After nearly 4 months of disastrous doctor and hospital proceedings and after months of therapies and life changing experiences - Margaret went back to work. There was a big celebration and she was the happiest I had seen her in a long, long time. It was great, she had truly come all the way back and things looked like they were back to normal.
UPDATE - Tuesday, December 4, 2007
The joy and excitement was short lived, the nightmare continues. . .
She went in to work on Tuesday morning and was laid off as a part of a big cut back at her company. How in the Hell could this be? When in the Hell is this cloud of disappointment and doom going to pass? How much longer can every positive step turn into sadness? One step forard and 2 steps back - every time. If I wasn't living this with her I would never believe it. I wouldn't blame you for not believing this as you read it. I really wouldn't.
UPDATE - Wednesday, December 26, 2007. . .
Margaret and I had a nice Christmas and are looking forward to 2008. She has most of her weight back and is happy again. She has a great job opportunity that she will be interviewing for tomorrow. She's excited about life again. Never in my life did I despise or detest anything as much as I did the year 2007. Everything and anything that could have gone wrong - did in 2007 - to both of us. The champagne and food on New Year's Eve this year will taste the sweetest it ever has.
Now we have to look forward to the lawsuits that will be laid upon the medical system that profited by a woman's plight that was grossly misdiagnosed by scores of medical system idiots that will now have to pay the piper.
Margaret and I wish everyone a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year!
Stay tuned. . .
9/12/2007 6:27:56 PM
Written by D.Bach
I am an entrepreneur and love challenges. I am loyal, dependable, ethical, passionate, hard working and believe that good can overcome evil.
There are people that create energy and people who use (up) energy. I like the ones that have good energy and are fun and interesting to be with. I have always had constant dre...
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Comments
http://blue.wellness.com/blog/20106/disgusted-with-the-medical-system/d-bach
Hi DBS, how is your girlfriend doing? I check the post pretty much daily to see if any updates have been given. I keep my fingers crossed that you and your girlfriend are well and that she is getting the help she needs.
Posted by Mareesa
http://blue.wellness.com/blog/20106/disgusted-with-the-medical-system/d-bach
This is just criminal...
Posted by Rob Greenstein
http://blue.wellness.com/blog/20106/disgusted-with-the-medical-system/d-bach
DBS, any updates on your girlfriend? I hope things are getting better for her!
Posted by Amy
http://blue.wellness.com/blog/20106/disgusted-with-the-medical-system/d-bach
Did the doctors ever do a biopsi on that cyst they found- did they even bother to remove it?? Why haven't they explored that more?
Posted by Lisa
http://blue.wellness.com/blog/20106/disgusted-with-the-medical-system/d-bach
Dear DBS,
I am truly sorry to hear this story. I am a pharmacist myself and do worry about this sort of thing all of the time. When I first started practicing I would honestly have nightmares about filling the wrong medication/ dose. I still do but to a little less degree. I can say that I agree with Amac, doctors and pharmacists alike are just human and do make mistakes. I see it all of the time. And pharmacists do catch A LOT...and the ones that we don't or mistakenly fill ourselves is still great.
I think all patients have to ask lots of questions and really take control of their health.
When there are a lot of different doctors involved in a patient's treatment it can become even more dangerous since one may have no idea what the other is prescribing. It is important to keep a list of the medications you are taking to show each doctor you see.
If the pharmacist filling a prescription does not have your medical record in front of them they often don't know what you may have filled at another pharmacy OR what other medical conditions you may have, so talking with your pharmacist is important to make sure that nothing you take will affect your health conditions.
Sometimes patients put a little too much trust in their doctors thinking that they know all and could not possibly make a mistake. They have a lot of training diagnosing but often they do not know everything there is to know about medications. Ask your pharmacist any questions you may have about your medications. This is what they do. It's not all counting and putting pills in a bottle. If your pharmacist doesn't know off hand they will look it up for you. Use them as a resource for information. It is their job. Do not accept no as an answer. If they are not helpful find a different pharmacy. There is one on every corner. You have plenty of places to chose from.
In your situation I really don't know what could have prevented it. Some of the medications they prescribed I have seen in practice. Such as two antibiotics for an infection. I assume they thought she had H.Pylori a type of bacteria that is associated with an ulcer.
I can even see prescribing an antidepressant for anxiety they might have thought was causing her to have irritable bowel, BUT again it is a situation that should be assessed thoroughly by the provider as some people who may have other underlying diseases could be pushed over the edge so to speak if the wrong medication is prescribed. For example: if a patient has a diagnosis of bipolar disease and is prescribed an antidepressant for anxiety or depression the antidepressant could actually put that patient into a manic phase and could be very detrimental depending on the severity of the disease. Since the diagnosis of bipolar has to be made by a trained psychiatrist the primary care doctor could easily not have known the diagnosis at the time, nor could the patient if they not been seen or diagnosed previously, and prescribed the medication. It is my experience that antidepressant medications are prescribed very freely and could be very harmful. Just note the increase in suicide attempts in teens that are prescribed antidepressants. Which is on the black box warning. They are not as safe as people think. This of course is not meant to suggest that this occured in this situation. I am only using this as an example of what could happen if a person is given a medication with an inappropriate diagnosis.
One more comment on the benzodiazepines. These drugs are very hard to get off of and can kill you if you stop "cold turkey," especially if you have been taking them for many years. These medications work on the same receptors as alcohol. You may or may not know that alcohol is a drug that if people who have been drinking for many years and quit "cold turkey" they can have a seizure and/ or die. In the hospital we give alcoholics benzodiazepines while they are
Posted by Maggie
http://blue.wellness.com/blog/20106/disgusted-with-the-medical-system/d-bach
DBS, I am deeply sorry for the terrible experience you've had. Just imagining that happening to my fiancee is painful.
My perspective on doctors is that they are often useful and often not. I use them as a resource, but not an ultimate authority.
I try to read a lot about health in books and on the Internet so when I hear something that doesn't make sense I can challenge it.
I think the best way to deal with doctors (or any trained professional) is to be highly skeptical of their advice and do your homework before taking any medications or making lifestyle changes; especially mind-altering drugs.
I often bounce the doctor's advice off of other health professionals before making a decision.
If a doctor says something that doesn't make sense to me (like taking antidepressants for a stomach ache) I wouldn't do it and I'd keep looking for doctors until I found one that could find the problem.
In doctors' defense; they are not gods nor are they psychic. They have a toolkit of tests and diagnostics they can use to try to find out what a health condition is, but the human body is very complex and we still don't fully understand it. They have to be knowledgeable about thousands of health conditions and situations and I can imagine it's difficult to be a master of them all. I can also imagine that after years of dealing with people who are sick or dying that in order to mentally cope with all the suffering they have to mentally detach themselves and treat each case objectively.
However, I believe there is a balance that some doctors don't have and others do. I imagine it's hard for doctors to have thousands of people depending on them for their health and safety. It's gotta be a tough job and carries a lot of weight with it. I think most of them are doing the best they can, but they are only human like the rest of us. Again, I think the key is finding that balance of compassion and detachment.
In your case, I think it's a case of incompetence or just downright apathy on the part of the doctors. It sounds like she's trapped in some kind of fictional story where the medical system is a "machine." Truly sorry to hear it.
Hopefully some doctor will be able to catch wind of her situation and make the right diagnosis. I'd recommend trying to get some other doctors to go meet with her and perhaps convince the psychiatrists to let her see another GI doc.
Best of luck!
Amac
Posted by Aaron M
http://blue.wellness.com/blog/20106/disgusted-with-the-medical-system/d-bach
I just want to say, I can really connect to your story.. In fact it really brings back a lot of memories.. I will pray for the both of you.. I must say, your girlfriend is very lucky to have you, and I hope I can bring some hope back into your life.. The first thing that I feel is so important, would be to continue being strong for her, and to continue showing her your support. That is so important.. When a person is a victim of such "medical" trauma.. My story started 15 years ago, when a pharmacist made a mistake on my prescription. And so I could actually just tell you to put my name in the spots where your girlfriends name should go..Before going on, I just want to say I hope she is doing better.. I ended up walking out of my life, from the man I loved so much and four beautiful daughters. By this point, he was very tired of the medical issues, and scenes. In time he began to think like the doctor's. oh she has gone crazy, and we're sorry to put it to you like this, and he finally bought into it too. I had finally convinced myself, that I would destroy the life of my four daughter's, if I didn't leave..
I can only hope that my hope can become your hope also. I am no medical Doctor, but I could almost walk right into her very footsteps. You can find my email in my profile. But you are so right. Nutrition is the very core. I have been on Xanix for over 15 years 4 times a day. I am finally down to two pill's a day, and without any with drawl sys tom's, which I should be having, taken into consideration the time frame I have been on it.. It has just been the past 3 month's that this change has been taking place. And I am so grateful to be back to being me.. For me this change has only been threw nutrition, and nutrition only.. it is amazing..stay strong, and believe in her. have they been able to locate the the cause of the pain yet?.. It's hard to close this comment, but there is hope... proper nutrition..
Posted by Julie Elder
http://blue.wellness.com/blog/20106/disgusted-with-the-medical-system/d-bach
Thanks Amy for your kind thoughts, they are very appreciated.
Posted by D.Bach
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