Bring Out Your Best with Healthy Limits

Promote Self-Care While Caring for Others

The help you give to others reveals the best the world has to offer. Caregiving is among the most rewarding and meaningful things we do. Despite this, do you ever fall in bed at night wondering if you did enough? Or are you worried about someone else’s wellbeing while struggling to find time to go on a walk or make a healthy meal? We work to radiate goodness, yet often struggle to find life balance and experience joyful moments.   

Helpers share a common ground whether we hold a dying family members’ hand, respond to emergency calls, wear a uniform, or treat sick animals. We shape the world with care and participate in a global effort to promote healthier living. We hold out hope for others in the darkest of times. We offer a wonderful gift, sometimes at the expense of our own wellbeing.  

We can give a million reasons why it is easy to set aside personal needs. Many organizations and individuals see the sacrifices we make as admirable, but neglecting personal wellbeing is not sustainable. We caregivers need to know that self-care is not selfish. When personal wellness is a priority, we can handle challenges more effectively and connect better with ourselves and others. We can promote our best, balanced selves even when helping others during difficult times. 

Here are 5 tips to promote your best, balanced self.

1. Define what you at your best, balanced self looks like. This is not the perfect you in the perfect world, so be realistic and fair. Balance includes feeling positive about how you participate in all of life’s contexts. What values, virtues, attitudes, and traits to you radiate when feeling at your best? Describe your own physical, social, emotional, spiritual, and mental wellbeing when healthy. Give yourself a picture of what a balanced life looks like.

2. Encourage yourself to focus time, energy, and resources on promoting your best, balanced self. Efforts will benefit family, friends, people you help, colleagues, and society as well as yourself. Remember your wellbeing is just as important as those you offer care for.  

3. Identify the need for healthy limits to promote sustainable caring and positive relationships. It is okay to say “no” to someone’s unreasonable request or go on a walk rather than listen to complains. Limits designate what we are and are not responsible for. They apply to every aspect of life and promote healthy functioning. Imbalance or lack of wellness identifies a need for boundaries. We may think limits are rude, but they benefit everyone involved by increasing sustainability. 

4. Clarify what you are and are not responsible for. Write a list or draw a diagram to help you establish boundaries. As helpers it is too easy to take on other people’s responsibilities, especially when families and organizations lack a healthy sense of limits. We think we are helping, but may be creating dysfunction. Use resources such as a job description and what you identified as your best, balanced self. Include personal wellness in your responsibilities and be your best advocate.

5. Strengthen support and use resources. Helping others is not a solo venture. We share a common ground with helpers around the world who face similar challenges. We, like the people we help, are human and benefit from the support of others. Identify resources and give yourself permission to use them. Let go of solo perfectionism, and perceive success as including use of resources.  

You embody the best the world has to offer when you help others while promoting personal wellbeing. A healthy, balanced life radiating vitality inspires hopeful possibilities of resilient and sustainable caring for generations of caregivers. 

Promote your best, balanced self so you can respond to challenges with resilience and integrity. Foster a healthy understanding of limits so you can wake up refreshed for the day, delight in the relationships that add meaning to life, and have the strength to face challenges.   

Karen Schuder, EdD, MDiv, MAM, has extensive experience promoting resilience and role sustainability through public speaking and coaching. Years of helping people during traumatic times, leading organizations, and working globally inform her work with people in personal and professional helping roles. Karen offers life-changing concepts and practical strategies with an enjoyable, interactive approach. Check out Resilient and Sustainable Caring: Your Guide to Thrive While Helping Others. Learn more about how to foster a purpose driven culture characterized by resilience, positivity, and decreased anxiety at www.karenschuder.com.