How Will Divorce Affect My Child? | Helping Your Child Getting Through a Divorce

Children are often viewed as the party that takes the most damage from a divorce, and for a good reason. Kids who experience their parents’ divorce usually feel that their world is falling apart. That’s why parents feel guilt for splitting up and try to do everything in their power to protect their kids from this trauma as they are not sure what are the effects of divorce on children.

According to available data, there are approximately 750,000 divorces and annulments in the United States each year, with occasional spikes and drops in the numbers. Therefore, it is possible to boldly assume that lots of children are going through this rather unpleasant process. Yes, divorce definitely takes its toll on a young child, but parents should not despair as there are ways of reducing the effects of divorce on kids. 

Negative Effects of Divorce on Children

Does the divorce of parents harm their children? It surely does in a number of ways. Although it is usually assumed that a child is likely to suffer from separation anxiety or a different mental health problem, the situation is more complex. It is possible to identify both emotional and physical issues that need to be explained to answer the question of how can divorce affect a child's development.

Emotional Effects of Divorce on a Child

One of the most pressing questions that parents ask themselves is how divorce affects children’s emotional development. First of all, a child is highly likely to feel anger because their world is rapidly changing, which can lead to a number of conditions. Separation anxiety disorder is one of the more prevalent mental health issues that can be observed among young children who are going through a divorce. It can lead to behavioral changes such as clinginess, extreme crying, temper tantrums, and violence.

There is yet another condition that is seen among preschoolers— behavioral regression. This is a result of separation anxiety combined with a lack of feeling of security. The problem manifests in a number of forms that include thumb sucking, bedwetting, and refusing to sleep alone.

Psychical Effects of Divorce on a Child

As the cause and effects of divorce on children are interconnected, so is the emotional and physical wellbeing. Stress and anxiety are highly likely to lead to sleep issues. If a child has problems with getting a good night’s sleep, they are at increased risk of becoming sick due to lowered efficiency of the immune system that stems from mental and physical exhaustion.

Not surprisingly, children often quite literally carry the weight of divorce. A recent study concluded that the impact of divorce on a child could also manifest in adverse food consumption changes that are caused by stress. Together, these factors are likely to lead to an increase in BMI and higher risks of becoming overweight or obese.

Yes, divorce affects children in numerous ways. Still, there are family environments that are quite toxic and plagued by things such as disrespect, emotional or physical abuse, alcoholism, and other adverse practices that harm children. If this is the case, divorce is a much better solution for a child.

Tips for Parents on How to Help Your Child to Get Through a Divorce

After finding out what divorce does to a child, it is possible to outline some parenting strategies that can be used in helping kids adjust to the new reality. Child adjustment is one of the primary objectives of parents who split up and want their children to grow up to become healthy and socially capable adults. There are several strategies on how to manage the effects of growing up with divorced parents.

Co-Parenting

It is highly recommended to consider co-parenting as the child is going through the divorce transition into a new reality. If parents are in a state of intense conflict, and even if there is minor tension between them, a child is highly likely to feel this and experience distress.

Healthy Relationships

While this may sound like a cliché, maintaining healthy relationships between parents and their children is an effective way of developing their self-esteem and supporting their development. 

Healthy relationships also include avoiding putting a child in the middle of the parents’ conflict. Separation anxiety is more than enough. Combining it with loyalty conflict caused by a need to choose a side of one parent or another is paving the way to ongoing mental problems and distortion of how a child perceives social interactions in general.

Final Thoughts

It is possible to see children as the most vulnerable social group and as being highly susceptible to their parent's actions while going through a divorce. This can lead to a number of emotional and physical effects on their wellbeing, potentially hindering their development.

However, parents can at least partially negate the consequences of divorce on a child through simple things such as the maintenance of healthy relationships and co-parenting. Still, careful monitoring of the child’s behavior is imperative, and it is advisable to seek professional help if there are any warning signs.